Elder Care Ministries - Blog

Redefined Reality: What Things Might Become

8/19/2020

Since June I’ve been working with a congregation that is searching for a new pastor. It’s been an honor and a joy to travel alongside them this summer.
By the time I arrived, members of this community of faith already were making their way through this time of pastoral transition, as well as through the unknown territory of being the church during a global pandemic.
Given all of that, it would be easy for them to want to cling to how things have always been. No one would really blame them.
I’m guessing many of us can relate to that longing. So much has changed and continues to change around us that returning to how things have always been would be comforting. So much has been and continues to be uncertain that returning to any sense of normal would be reassuring.

Giving Thanks for Goals & Dreams

8/14/2020

Gracious God, thank you for goals and dreams—both old and new—and how they can change as we travel through life. Thanks for:

Goals that went from wanting to change the world to making sure we take all our pills and eye drops for the day.
Not being in such a rush and being content with what we have accomplished.
Early goals that helped us graduate from college and find fulfilling careers and for letting go of other goals we or others expected us to have.
Goals that have not changed much and have served as a constant in life.

Giving Thanks for Things About Which We Are Proud

8/11/2020

Gracious God, thank you for opportunities to look back at our lives and reflect on the things about which we can feel proud. We’re grateful as we recall:

People who have seen qualities in us that make us proud. For being seen as fair by members of our family and people at work. For being seen as dependable and then invited to step out to fill leadership roles.
Earning a college degree when that might not have been expected.
Mentoring students who later let us know we made a difference in their lives.

Redefined Reality: Turning Uncertainty into Growth

8/10/2020

Life is uncertain.
If we didn’t know that six months ago, most of us now are certain about that uncertainty.
We live more by probability than certainty. We’ll probably wake up tomorrow morning. We’ll probably still have our job. Our children probably will be healthy. But we know that probabilities can—and do—fail, so we’re left feeling uncertain.
And that uncertainty makes life messy. Unexpected things go wrong. Our careful plans fall apart. Bad things happen to good people. We want guarantees, but what we get is uncertainty.
All too often we have trouble dealing constructively with that uncertainty. We try to avoid its harsh reality by what one writer describes as “negative coping strategies,” such as:

Feeling shame. We tell ourselves that other people don’t seem fearful or anxious. They seem to have their act together, so there must be something wrong with us.
Trying to sedate ourselves. When life seems too uncertain, we grab for something to quiet our feelings: alcohol, drugs, too much work, too much television, too much or too little food, unhealthy relationships.
Blaming other people. We can’t tolerate feeling uncertain, so we project our frustration onto someone else. “If she hadn’t disappointed us.” “If he’d only change.” “If they’d only done something differently.”
Embracing a rigid set of beliefs to give us an illusion of certainty. But as one writer notes, the most dangerous thing in religion is certainty. It’s certainty that causes us to despise people with beliefs different from our own.

While such strategies may help us feel better in the short run, they don’t offer any long-term solutions. Uncertainty, messiness, fear, and anxiety are part of our human condition. Trying to ignore, avoid, or resist them won’t get us very far.
But what else can we do? How might we approach uncertainty as we attempt to redefine our reality?

Giving Thanks for the Best Days of Our Lives

8/8/2020

Gracious God, thank you for the days, the moments, the seasons that stand out in our memories as the best times in our lives. Thanks for:

A long-ago summer of falling in love and a surprise trip planned by a spouse as an act love.
Looking into the face of a grandchild and seeing the culmination of the happy things of a lifetime.
Sharing a wedding day with parents as they renewed their vows on their 60th anniversary.
College years that provided a blank slate and the freedom to be oneself.

Redefined Reality: Bringing What We Have

8/6/2020

“Bring what you have.”
       I wonder how many times I’ve read those words from Matthew’s version of the feeding of the multitude story. Regardless of the number of times, it was only recently that the words finally jumped out at me.
       Maybe they struck home because I can identify with Jesus’ earliest disciples. When faced with the daunting task of feeding a hungry mass of people, they felt they had nothing to offer.
       In face of the overwhelming needs that seem to fill our world today, I often feel the same way. I don’t have the right words to say. I’m out of time and resources. I don’t have any physical or emotional energy left.
       I doubt I’m alone when it comes to feeling I have nothing to offer—or that the little I might have could never be enough.
       But then Jesus’ words speak in a new way: “Bring what you have to me.”

Giving Thanks for Things That Make Us Happy

8/5/2020

Gracious God, in the face of the challenges and problems and pain that seem to fill our world, we give thanks for the things that make us happy, that bring us joy, that give us satisfaction. Thank you for:

Slow mornings.
Happy children playing and the hope of new life.
Floating in sunsets and being held in the vastness of the ocean you created.
Floating weightlessly in pools and sitting on porches.

Redefined Reality: Responding from a Lonely Place

8/3/2020

Even before COVID-19, nearly fifty percent of Americans said they experienced loneliness. The social isolation that has been part of our lives more recently has increased that number.
       Loneliness can have a major impact on our mental and physical health. It can add to depression, anxiety, and stress and interfere with our ability to get a good night’s sleep. Studies show that it puts us at a higher risk for health complications such as heart disease and stroke.
       Often we’re embarrassed to admit our loneliness. We feel as though we should have better control of our emotions. We also worry that feeling lonely means we don’t have the meaningful relationships that other people have.
       I think it’s interesting that yesterday’s gospel reading began in a lonely place.
       Jesus had been rejected in his home town of Nazareth. He’d also just heard that John, his spiritual mentor, has been killed because of a political figure’s jealousy and foolish promise. So he goes away by himself to a lonely place.
       If we’re honest, many of us can relate to Jesus’ reaction. We hear about the pandemic’s growing death count, and we go a lonely place. We hear about escalating violence in our cities and around the world, and we’re taken to a desolate place. We hear about the political gridlock that continues to cripple our federal government, and we’re off to a lonely place.

Giving Thanks for People Who Have Influenced Us

8/2/2020

Gracious God, thank you for the people who have influenced our lives:

For our families—for parents, for spouses and children, for grandparents and aunts.
For other families who welcome us in and for church families who help us feel we belong and show us grace.
For writers—of scripture and of works since then that help us understand and express our faith.
For therapists and priests and pastors.
For teachers and mentors and heroes.
For those who’ve offered us gifts of grace and music and unconditional love.
And for those who have taught us how to live, how to understand ourselves, and how to stand up for others.

For all these and others who’ve influenced our lives, we give thanks. Amen.

Giving Thanks for the Rewards of Growing Older

7/31/2020

Gracious God, we give thanks for the rewards of growing older:

for the joy of grandparenting
for opportunities to travel
for a sense of self that’s more defined and better accepted
for free time and getting to choose what to do
for trying new things
for opportunities to read and learn